For 25 years, I lived in the same house. Great memories, bad memories, in-between memories, you get the idea. 25 birthdays, 25 July Fourths, 24 Christmases[1. Would be 25, but may not happen x.x], 24[2. Refer to #1] Thanksgivings. I’ve seen this house go through transformation after transformation; even remembered when my mom brought in a tenant to live in the basement for a short while. 3 grandchildren were raised in that home, 4 dogs lived in that home[3. Not at once, by the way], countless fish lived and died in the same fish tank. For 25 years, even the space around me changed.
So as I step away from that comfort zone of 25 years, admittedly, I cried. Admittedly, I wanted to cancel my plane ticket and stay. But 25 years…it was time to go. And even with all the fears I had, I knew that it was the right thing to do. So I packed up (most) of my stuff, and I moved out west.
I’m with my fiancé. Yes, I will be getting married soon[4. Soon being within the next few years]. I know, crazy, right? My romantic escapades (of sorts), some good, some bad, mostly bad, actually has a happy ending. Who would have thought that the insecure, cynical, sarcastic me would actually have someone fall in love with her? He doesn’t believe that he found someone like me either. It’s like one big dream, and I don’t want to wake up. Every night as we cuddle[5. After some hot, steamy, toe-curling…game sessions…and sex], I can’t help but to smile.
My mom, of course, is worried, but I always used to tell her that if I don’t call, that usually means I’m okay. I’m not as panicky as I used to be. I feel renewed. I feel fearless. I feel…free.
So it’s only been a week since I’ve been in Cali. Yes, I miss NY. But I’m feeling good here too. Just that…damn, it was hot as hell for a few days, and now it’s like really chilly and shit. Well, could be worse.
It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me…and I’m feeling good.